Let’s take some (but not all) of the romance out of Valentine’s Day

I love you - greetings cards by K.J. Hutchings

Yes, it’s THAT time of year again – Valentine’s Day is only a few days away and I bet the shops near you are bursting with cards, chocolates and cuddly toys.

Whether or not you buy into the celebration, you can’t easily ignore its popularity. Some argue it’s commercialism at its worst, and others simply think it’s fun.

Valentine’s Day is sometimes hard for singletons

For singletons, it can be a mixed bag. You might feel as though you are suddenly surrounded by loved-up couples, making you feel lonely and unloved (or even nauseous). On the up side, you save money on chocolates and flowers :-).

Read moreLet’s take some (but not all) of the romance out of Valentine’s Day

Love alone does not make a good relationship

love alone is not enough - k.j. hutchings

There’s seems to be an enduring romantic notion that good relationships just happen and you don’t need to work at them.

That love alone should be enough to make things work. That a good relationship should be effortless and any signs of trouble mean the relationship isn’t worth saving because it’s not “right” and so the only option is to end it and search for the truly perfect relationship.

There is no perfect relationship

Most of us know deep down the notion of perfection is wrong, and that all relationships need nurturing. We know there is no perfect relationship because we are not perfect. Even couples who consider themselves ‘soul mates’ need to work at it.

We’re different to our partner in many ways, we have different views. We can’t read their minds (thank goodness), we all carry around a lot of emotional baggage, and have hang ups and faults…

Read moreLove alone does not make a good relationship

Never struggle to make someone love you

Never struggle to make someone love you - K.J. Hutchings

Never, ever struggle and strive to make someone love you.

If you have to force it, it’s not worth having. That sort of “love” is unlikely to last the long term and unlikely to do you any good in the meantime.

Bow out and find someone who sees your worth and knows without a doubt you are loveable, and wants to be with you.

And never forget to love yourself first. Self-love isn’t selfish!

Struggling to make someone fall in love with you is the quickest way to fall out of love with yourself.