K.J. HutchingsHello! I’m K.J. Hutchings and I write, draw and paint about love, relationships and self-help.

I believe we all deserve to feel good about our relationships, especially the most important relationship in our lives – the relationship we have with ourselves.

I believe that no experience or relationship is a waste of time – everything that happens teaches us valuable lessons.

I believe you cannot truly love others if you don’t love yourself first. Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s essential for healthy relationships, connections, well being and self-esteem.

My blog posts, self-help books and fiction writing look at the issues, messy emotions and problems so common in many relationships, and how to understand, improve and solve them. They also focus on how we can develop a more loving relationship with ourselves.

My artwork celebrates self-love, loved ones and relationships at their very best – the perfect balance, I think.

I’m from the UK and currently live in the south of Sweden with my husband.

Here’s my story…

My story by K.J. Hutchings - relationship writer and artist
Self-portrait (oils on canvas) from my 20s

Like a lot of girls and young women, I looked for love, relationships and friendships in the wrong places and with the wrong people.

As a result I often got mistreated and hurt – experiences which worsened my already fragile self-esteem.

This pattern continued for years, well into my 20s.

Until one day it finally struck me.

I was in a very dysfunctional relationship with the one person in my life who should matter most – me.

I realised that if I didn’t love and respect myself first I would never experience healthy, fulfilling relationships with other people. I realised my lack of self-love was affecting all areas of my life. I was a people-pleasing pushover.

This revelation – that self-love shapes our connections with partners, family, friends, colleagues, strangers – set me on the self-help path in search of insights and answers.

I read countless books and journaled about my experiences, and discovered that no one can give us self-love. It’s a gift we actively give ourselves, with acceptance, patience and practice. Self-love brought me many other precious gifts – self-confidence, well being, gratitude and greater compassion. I also learned that I didn’t need to find love “out there” – it was always in me, just as it’s in all of us.

I’ve been walking the self-help path ever since, reading about and learning from others’ experiences as well as my own, and also journaling regularly, writing, drawing and painting about love and loved ones, relationships and self-help topics.

It’s an ongoing journey full of insights and discoveries, which I want to share with others, using my two great passions – art and writing.

I certainly don’t have all the answers (who does?), but my aim and hope is that my writing and artwork will help other people too.

The best way to have loving, lasting relationships with others is to have a lifelong loving relationship with yourself.