How to open your heart to others (even if you’ve been badly hurt in the past)

Don't be afraid to open your heart

We all too often think that we should protect ourselves from the possibility of getting hurt. Most of us have been hurt in the past and a common reaction to the pain of being hurt by someone else is to close off our hearts.

We mistakenly think that closing our hearts and guarding our feelings protect us from further pain. We mistakenly think it strengthens us and gives us control over what happens to us.

The problem is the opposite happens.

A closed heart = a closed life

When you close your heart, you close yourself off not only from the world, but also from yourself. A closed heart can leave life devoid of joy, love and compassion, and possibilities. It becomes a fearful heart. It actually attracts negative situations and people, it does not avert them.

There are, of course, certain people (and situations) you should protect yourself from, but not everyone you meet. A closed heart takes a lot of (negative) energy to maintain. It’s draining. You’re constantly on guard waiting trouble, waiting for someone to try to step on your toes. Your life becomes dictated by painful past events to the detriment of your present moments.

Plus a closed heart means you treat yourself with less love, trust and compassion too. You end up being incredibly hard on yourself.

A closed heart = negative energy

A closed heart has also soaked up the bad energy from the memories you replay over and over about the betrayal or rejection or pain inflicted upon you. You literally lock that pain inside your heart, thinking you are protecting yourself when really you are hurting yourself.

The only way to solve that problem – and let go of your pain – is to open your heart.

How to open your heart

Read moreHow to open your heart to others (even if you’ve been badly hurt in the past)

Get yourself out of a rut in 3 simple steps

We all find ourselves stuck in a rut from time to time. Perhaps you feel life is passing you by and nothing is exciting or new anymore. You feel bored and lifeless and lack motivation.

You start to think negatively about a lot of things, including yourself and your relationships. There doesn’t seem to be anything to look forward to. Life is just blah.

Feeling stuck in a rut is certainly no fun but luckily there are three simple ways in which to get out of that rut fast and start feeling happier again.

Step One

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How to stop feeling like a victim in your life

victim mentality

Do you sometimes or often feel like a victim in your life? Well, you if you do, you are certainly not alone.

Feeling like a victim is all to do with our state of mind – our mentality. We think of ourselves as victims, and our thoughts become our feelings and our actions.

When you have a victim mentality you feel as though you cannot succeed no matter how hard you try and that everything and everyone is against you. Feeling like this can be very frustrating as it keeps you stuck.

You feel trapped and helpless and believe you have no control over your life. Your thinking patterns are likely to be negative and very pessimistic. There is also a strong chance that self-pity and sadness are familiar features of your life.

The “benefits” of having a victim mindset

Believe it or not, having a victim mindset is attractive to some people because they believe it holds several benefits, such as:

Read moreHow to stop feeling like a victim in your life

How to improve your relationship with the negative people in your life

Regret by K.J. Hutchings

The saying goes that money makes the world go round, but that’s not true.

It’s our relationships.

How we relate to other people and how they relate to us keeps our world spinning round. When things go well, all’s right with our world. When things go badly, it can feel as though our world has ended.

And that’s why your relationships will always be the most important thing in your life, and why it serves you well to have the best possible relationship with others, and yourself, and improve the connection you have with the less-than-positive people in your life.

We probably all have negative people in our lives – those who criticize us, complain about us, belittle us and say or do cruel things. They can be the closest to us, people we have known all our lives. That makes their negativity harder to escape and harder to endure.

Read moreHow to improve your relationship with the negative people in your life