How to stop feeling like a victim in your life

victim mentality

Do you sometimes or often feel like a victim in your life? Well, you if you do, you are certainly not alone.

Feeling like a victim is all to do with our state of mind – our mentality. We think of ourselves as victims, and our thoughts become our feelings and our actions.

When you have a victim mentality you feel as though you cannot succeed no matter how hard you try and that everything and everyone is against you. Feeling like this can be very frustrating as it keeps you stuck.

You feel trapped and helpless and believe you have no control over your life. Your thinking patterns are likely to be negative and very pessimistic. There is also a strong chance that self-pity and sadness are familiar features of your life.

The “benefits” of having a victim mindset

Believe it or not, having a victim mindset is attractive to some people because they believe it holds several benefits, such as:

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How a gratitude list improves your happiness and relationships

A gratitude list increases happiness

You’ve probably heard about expressing gratitude as a part of the law of attraction. And it is certainly true that gratitude is an important part of helping us achieve what we want in life as well as gaining more happiness.

After all, how can you possibly attract success and happiness if you do not appreciate what you already have?

Too many people ignore gratitude and instead focus on what they believe they lack, labelling themselves as hard done by or unfortunate. The truth is that all of us have plenty to be grateful for, although this can be hard to think about in difficult circumstances.

An everyday reminder of gifts

Making a gratitude list is a great way to remind yourself of your many blessings. Seeing everything you are grateful for written down in a list is a very effective way to increase your levels of happiness.

Accumulating your blessings makes you realize you are lucky and the good thing about a list is that it’s portable – you can slip it into your pocket and read it whenever you need to.

Expressing gratitude is uplifting, it literally lifts our spirits and opens our hearts. You start to realize that your life contains many gifts and many wonderful people.

It is in our darkest and most difficult times that we need to think about what we are grateful for. At such times, the prospect of writing a gratitude list may seem ridiculous but this one action will be far more productive than self-pity.

How to start your gratitude list

Read moreHow a gratitude list improves your happiness and relationships

How social media harms your relationships

social media harms relationships

Whenever I visit family and friends in the UK, I like to do a digital detox. No internet, no social media, no emails. Bliss.

I’ve found it so beneficial that I often have a mini detox most weekends too.

My detoxes always make me realise that our digital devices can be a tad too intrusive in our lives. Sure, they can help us reach out to a massive amount of people and open up worlds of information, but they also eat into a lot of time as well. Hours can be lost on Facebook or Twitter if we’re not careful.

I know that social media helps us to connect with people, but it can also severely affect our day-to-day connection with the people closest to us.

Looking at our phones instead of talking to each other

How often have you seen people sitting at a restaurant table together or in a bar completely focused on checking their phones rather than talking to one another? How many couples feel ignored because their partners are engrossed in something on their iPad or laptop? How many of your friends on Facebook are actual friends? Probably less than half? Maybe not even that many?

Isn’t it all a bit, well, crazy?

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the internet. I love being able to easily keep in touch with my friends in other countries. I love how it helps me do my job. It offers a wealth of knowledge and information. But most technology has a down side and in the case of social media, there’s a dark side too.

Read moreHow social media harms your relationships

Let’s take some (but not all) of the romance out of Valentine’s Day

I love you - greetings cards by K.J. Hutchings

Yes, it’s THAT time of year again – Valentine’s Day is only a few days away and I bet the shops near you are bursting with cards, chocolates and cuddly toys.

Whether or not you buy into the celebration, you can’t easily ignore its popularity. Some argue it’s commercialism at its worst, and others simply think it’s fun.

Valentine’s Day is sometimes hard for singletons

For singletons, it can be a mixed bag. You might feel as though you are suddenly surrounded by loved-up couples, making you feel lonely and unloved (or even nauseous). On the up side, you save money on chocolates and flowers :-).

Read moreLet’s take some (but not all) of the romance out of Valentine’s Day