K.J. HutchingsHello! I’m K.J. Hutchings and I write, draw and paint about love, relationships and self-help.

I believe we all deserve to feel good about our relationships, especially the most important relationship in our lives – the relationship we have with ourselves.

I believe that no experience or relationship is a waste of time – everything that happens teaches us valuable lessons.

I believe you cannot truly love others if you don’t love yourself first. Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s essential for healthy relationships, connections, well being and self-esteem.

My blog posts, self-help books and fiction writing look at the issues, messy emotions and problems so common in many relationships, and how to understand, improve and solve them. They also focus on how we can develop a more loving relationship with ourselves.

My artwork celebrates self-love, loved ones and relationships at their very best – the perfect balance, I think.

Here’s my story…

My story by K.J. Hutchings - relationship writer and artist
Self-portrait (oils on canvas) from my 20s

Relationships and the ways we connect with each other have always intrigued me. As a young girl I read a lot of novels by Judy Blume, as well as teen romance books and magazines.

And like a lot of young women, I often looked for love, relationships and friendships in the wrong places and with the wrong people.

This pattern continued for years – well into my 20s.

Until one day it finally struck me.

I was in a very dysfunctional relationship with the one person in my life who should matter most – me.

I realised that if I didn’t love and respect myself first I would never experience healthy, fulfilling relationships. I realised my lack of self-love was affecting all areas of my life.

This revelation – that self-love shapes our connections with partners, family, friends, colleagues, strangers – set me on the self-help path in search of insights and answers.

I read and learned from experts’ books, and discovered that no one can give us self-love. It’s a gift we actively give ourselves, with guidance, acceptance, patience and practice. And self-love brings other precious gifts – self-confidence, wellbeing, gratitude and compassion. I also learned that I didn’t need to find love “out there” – it was always in me, just as it’s in all of us.

I’ve been walking the self-help path ever since, still reading and learning from experts as well as my own experiences, and also journaling, writing, drawing and painting about love and loved ones, relationships and self-help topics.

It’s an ongoing journey full of insights and discoveries, which I want to share with others, using my two great passions – art and writing.

My aim and hope is that what I create helps other people too. 

K.J. Hutchings in AfricaA little more about me…

I’m from the UK, my husband Jan is Swedish, we met in Ireland and then travelled around the world together…We now live in the beautiful south of Sweden and still love to travel as much as possible.

I’m an avid diary-keeper and green tea addict, and a bit of a bookworm.

My art prints, novel ‘My Lover’s Keeper’ and collection of short stories ‘Dancing Wounded’ are coming soon once my shop is open for business.

 7 facts about me…

  1. K.J. stands for Kay Julie…
  2. I’ve had my heart broken – but not by a boyfriend or partner…
  3. I’m an exhibited artist…
  4. I’ve kept a diary since I was 12 and it’s the inspiration for a lot of my fiction and self-help writing…
  5. I wrote my first novel aged 14, bashing it out on my beloved typewriter. The book was terrible but I loved writing and illustrating it…
  6. I practise heartfulness meditation…
  7. I recently found an old “Wish List” I’d written many years ago – every single wish has come true (experiencing true love was among the wishes).